What the fuck, Choose Your Own Adventure?

A tribute to all the weird, fucked up shit that happened in those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books.

Your decision to engage the Canopian attack craft got you demoted, but you can still redeem yourself! So, what will it be? Play it safe (page 25), or go rogue (page 7)?

Reblog this with which page you’d turn to, and I’ll post the choice that gets the most votes.

And so you embark on your mission to capture the space vampire. But what’s this? A Canopian attack craft! Should you fight (page 12) or attempt to outrun them (page 20)? Decisions, decisions…
Reblog this with which page you would turn to, and I’ll post the choice that gets the most votes!

And so you embark on your mission to capture the space vampire. But what’s this? A Canopian attack craft! Should you fight (page 12) or attempt to outrun them (page 20)? Decisions, decisions…

Reblog this with which page you would turn to, and I’ll post the choice that gets the most votes!

This should be fun. Above are the opening pages of the Choose Your Own Adventure classic, “Space Vampire” by Edward Packard. These pages lead up to the first choice in the story: Go on a mission to capture a space vampire (page 31), or investigate a nearby planet for colonization (page 9).

To vote for your choice, reblog this and write which page you would turn to. The choice that gets the most votes will be posted tomorrow!

Sadly, for a book about genetically-engineered dinosaurs, Edward Packard’s Dinosaur Island contains very, very few deaths by dinosaur. I counted two. I do, however, appreciate the irony of this ending. Of all the fearsome creatures inhabiting the island, your demise comes at the hands (fangs?) of a garden variety snake.

Fine, order me around! Just don’t let it go to your…head? Sorry, I had to.

What kind of vampire just throws away good food like that?

Dead or sleeping?

Gobbled up by a giant rat beast.

Gobbled up by a giant rat beast.

Adventuring sure is a pain in the neck.

Adventuring sure is a pain in the neck.

A spear from the rear.